A thing about love

HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN GOOD VIBRATIONS?!?!

I, I love the colourful clothes she wears
And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair
I hear the sound of a gentle word
On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air

I'm picking up good vibrations
She's giving me excitations

...

Close my eyes
She's somehow closer now
Softly smiling, I know she must be kind
When I look in her eyes
She goes with me to a blossom world.



Good vibrations sung by Brian Wilson (Beach Boys)

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I've always been one for eyes. They reveal a lot about what we pay attention to, and besides touch, joint attention is the basic construct of social connection. I'd argue that joint attention can be even more powerful than touch, but perhaps that is why the combination (touch and joint attention) can be, well, orgasmic.

It's easy to see how we fall in love with eyes.

The consensus from those that have loved me is that I have nice eyes. My eyes capture and hold people. They aren't remarkable eyes: plain, brown eyes behind plain thick-lensed glasses. What is remarkable about my eyes is me.

I was not -- I am not -- always dissociated.

As my last psychotherapist said, when I express my authentic self, I express myself beautifully. I pay attention. I look at people. I respond. And they like what they see.

I know how to love. Rather, I am well practiced at making someone feel loved.

The problem has always been me feeling love. Matching what I do with what I feel. Moving from inside out rather than outside in.

From that side of love, I know very little.

"She is a good, smart girl, reading and discussing modern cancer research with you, but she hasn’t learned a single thing about love. And her trust in you is slipping, slipping away. " - March 2008

"I only know three things, and none of those three things matter, because I see more. I see what she's done for me; I see how hard it has been. I've seen her share my pain. I've seen her desire to take my pain away. I've seen her hope. I've seen her pride. I've made her laugh. We connected. And I will remember it all as love." - 4 August 2011

What a difference feelings make.

I express myself beautifully when I am being authentic because I feel beautiful.
Because what we feel is beautiful.

What I feel is worth the risk.

I must have reached the bottom, because all I can see now is up.