Because I knew you (Part 1)

For my graduation party from therapy today, I prepared a card for my therapist (designed by me), a wrapped gift for my therapist's clients (handmade by me), and also a book for the waiting room (put together by me and a friend). I also made peanut butter fudge and cookies but if the fudge hasn't set, we'll be bagging that detail. ;-)

Chances are my therapist will keep the book since she kept the printed photograph I gave her earlier in therapy. And she may take the other gift home as I'm unsure she will be able to put it up in the office for clients to enjoy (it may be too distracting?). I also don't know if she likes peanut butter, but I do (yum).

Finally, I'm also bringing my 'speech' to read.

I feel nervous -- physically anxious -- but doing my best to relax and be present. I won't post this entry until I'm ready to leave, because of a small irrational belief that it may ruin the 'surprise'. Writing this is just another way of distracting me until it's time to go.

Having (offline and online) people who know what today means to me is a huge help. I appreciate your comments, emails and tweets. Being cared about/for is not something I'm used to, so I apologise if I don't really know how to respond (not immediately, anyway). I do appreciate it, and I'm learning how.

After therapy, I plan to cry and when I'm done crying (and if the sky stops crying too) I'll go for a walk. If it's still raining, I'll play a game. And then when my husband gets home, I'll hug him and cry. Then we'll smile, laugh and make homemade mac & cheese which is full of yummy vegetables. And then I'll go on the computer, read this post, think about therapy and cry again.

Tomorrow I'll tidy and baby-proof the downstairs because this weekend we are having people over to eat a meal and watch a movie. And by the end of Sunday I'll have written about the end of therapy and updated the design of my blog. =)

This was surprisingly calming. Here we go.