Louise had often said that she felt I was the first face she had imprinted on, and that she sometimes watched me to see what it was that humans did or were supposed to do, just the way a baby bird will imprint on its mother, surrogate or real.
I found this article and want you to read it. It may be triggering. It's about a therapist leaving her client of 6 years (who has, I suppose, a dissociative disorder somewhere between yours and mine).
Other people may find it useful too.
This article was really hard to read... I am so much in denial about what is going to happen. I can't imagine ever being able to survive through it. I know that may sound stupid but it's true. I don't see any hope of finding strength in the situation. Thanks though for sharing it. We need someone to force us to think about this.
ReplyDeleteI thought it would be difficult for you. I'm proud you tried!
ReplyDeleteI brought up the prospect of the ending with my Tx last week and it stirred up a lot of emotions I didn't expect. I think we may talk about it when I see her next week. This article made me cry. She was very brave.
When are you due to finish with your therapist? Is there any chance it will be extended? Do you have any plans to see someone else afterwards? It seems you have so much that you are working through at the moment.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteYW, castorgirl.
ReplyDeleteCandy: Therapy is time-limited to a year because I'm not a harm to myself or others. I suppose I'm relatively high-functioning compared to many people, but then again all the literature (and for good reason) suggests that it will take years of therapy to build a relationship of trust well enough to overcome the dissociative defense. Similarly, other literature suggests that the emotional flashbacks will never go away; that good management will always be necessary.
This might change if I admit to the episodes of mania and hallucinations but I'm unsure I want to do that yet. Early intervention for psychosis is 3 years.