Best Therapy Ever

We are in the transition now -- aka the ending -- and I must say, if this is how endings go, I love endings! Maybe I'm getting more authentic in session. Maybe I realised something super-important this past week that unlocked a few key defences (more on that later). Maybe it's just that I realise in less than a month I am likely not to see her again, so I want to make the most of it. Maybe I've finally learned to trust her. Maybe the reason doesn't matter.

I don't want to lose this feeling. I feel proud. Happy. Secure.

It's amazing, really, considering what I realised this past week. But perhaps it is evidence of our hard work that I was able to take such difficult 'news' with such balanced grace and authentic feeling.


Sometimes my confidence wobbles. Sometimes I doubt myself. Sometimes my memory falters. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed. Sometimes I'm defensive. Sometimes I'm terrified. Sometimes I feel lousy. Sometimes I'm ashamed. Sometimes I'm suspicious. But more and more, that's all okay.

My 'Second Skin' is forming tighter and closer to me. I've found a way to contain the pain of my most smallest and youngest of parts: the part without identity or language. The Infant Me.

It will take time to learn new automatic pathways, but I believe in the plasticity of my brain. I can be for myself what my parents were not. And what I can't be, I can seek in others.

We can do this. Remember this feeling. For the first time in your entire life, there is something inside that bowl. Something you can see. Something of you.