I'm limited (just look at me)

Jazzy metaphors and psychobabble aside, now. How do I feel about it all?

I feel scared. I'm making a lot of assumptions about my ability to build up my Adult self, essentially integrating all of my parts, on my own. But even in therapy, nobody can do that work but myself. It's nice to have a cheerleader or a teacher or a guide or a place of safety... but I can find each of those things out in the world. It's not impossible. I'm scared, but that fear won't keep me from trying.

I feel proud. Looking back over my entries in the last month, I see a fevered pace. I can't point out the exact time when I became attached to my therapist or when everything clicked, because the attachment didn't happen overnight and because the process of therapy has been a series of different and successive 'clicks'. I think fondly of my sense of achievement and articulating my plan of therapy in practice and in pictures.

I am angry. I've only just learned how to trust others, including my therapist. There is so much I want to share with her now, but it's ending.

I feel sad.

I feel grateful.

(Glinda):
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine by being my friend...