Congruence & Longing

I went to therapy with a laundry list of emotions to answer the inevitable 'How is Eliza today' question posed at the beginning of each session.

I left feeling deeply sad about the upcoming ending.

There was a whole lot of stuff in between that had nothing at all to do with the end of therapy. It had to do with me.

MY FEELINGS ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY.

The message was loud and clear. As for the details, I'm going to play the confidentiality card for the first time here. No details for you. It is far too close to my heart. But you can have the moral of the story! Ultimately, in the battle of authenticity and kindness, kindness wins. Expressing ourselves impacts on people, and we need to make sure we don't hold them responsible for what is ultimately ours to contain.

The good news is that I was able to talk about my problem with a friend and though it doesn't change how I feel, at least I'm able to share how I feel and continue to grow in our friendship. At least someone else is witness to my struggle. Someone else is growing to respect me for me.

That was congruence. Now here is an abstraction of the longing.

Someone is going to get hurt.

"Me." I said quickly and forcefully. It is always me.

"It doesn't have to be you." She said gently.

It doesn't have to be. But it will.